Why It Scares Me- La Dispute

At times I’ve shouted out unprovoked, at the world and you,
Just to see if the people around me react.
Sometimes I think they’re all acting,
At times I’m scared that I’m acting too. Like,
My movements or stage directions?
Was that a change in topic or a beat in a scene?
Have I been taking my emotional cues from a script I wrote at sixteen?

Maybe I just think about it all so much
That that the fear stays close to all the ghosts I’ve touched.
Makes me question
Was it love or just lust?
Caked in blood or old rust?
I don’t know.

Don’t we remember all the moments we remember the best
Framed in poems and in pictures, sang aloud in refrains?
Does this cycle of pain and disdain for the past
Not work exactly the same?

Maybe it’s just as much about what comes our way as it is how we react.
Just as much about the things that we’ve still got as it is about the things we lack.
I know, we won’t always keep around all we feel we need-
some are fading in frames, some were born to leave-
But if we’re still here, and we still breathe,
At least we’ve still got time to figure it out,
To know what to do,
To know how to feel,
Know the things that I’ve been making up inside my head,
And to know what’s real.
I want to believe that the way I am is just the way it goes.
For the things that came, not the things I chose
to come.
I want to know if I had any control.
I want to know if it’d comfort me.

And if my heart just stops, pack my memories in it-
I want to know all the love I’ve got.
And if my heart just stops, keep me alive for a minute-
I want to know if a curtain drops.

In the song, "Why It Scares Me" by La Dispute, the song writer used an extended metaphor to compare his life to that of a stage directed play. He feels as though his life is predetermined before him. Whether or not he truly believes that his life has truly been planned out for is questionable but according to this song he finds this to be true. He makes connections such as the part where he says, "My movements or stage directions, was that a change in topic or a beat in a scene?". For all he knows, he could have an audience monitoring his life. This is highly unlikely but nonetheless, he does make it seem believable with the way he conveys his point. The singer also uses a certain tone of voice to help convey his point. He shouts the words loudly to his point gets across to everyone who listens. His tone is so powerful that the listener just has to listen to the words that he is speaking, they are loud yet clear. I think this song is brilliantly written and performed and deserves more recognition than it gets.

Here is the link for the song: http://nosleepsampler.com/track/why-it-scares-me